Friday, July 18, 2008

little details make up the story

I got caught in the rain today on my way home from work. It started out as a slight drizzle as I was walking to the bus stop. It was so humid outside that the rain almost blended with the thick air. Seconds after taking my seat on the 9, big fat drops started falling fast and hard. It was still raining when I got off the bus so I quickly shuffled around the corner to wait for the number 72, which would take me all the way home. I tried to hold my pants up so the bottom of my jeans didn't get soaked by the puddles. It smelled awful. Chicago rain always smells a bit industrial, but today the smell was overwhelming. As the rain dried on my arms and face my skin began to feel tight and itchy. Wet in the front, my jeans stuck to my legs. When my bus arrived I squished on with all the other wet passengers. A nice man offered me a seat, which I declined. Just moments after I got on the bus, the rain stopped.

The worst thing about the trek home today was that neill wasn't around when I got here. I don't like coming home to an empty house. It feels lonely doing everything for one. Cooking for one is the worst. Who ever cooks with just half an onion or makes just one turkey burger? It doesn't feel right. I made enough for two out of habit. Although come to think of it, eating alone might be slightly worse than cooking for one. When neill is here, we can sit down together--have a real meal. Share. What do most people do if there is no one to share their food with? Multitask? I guess people could eat while checking their e-mail, watching television, paging through a magazine, or even talking to someone on the phone (although I have always found that theis leads to misplaced silences), but that doesn't really sound like having a meal.

I watched television while I ate. What Not To Wear was on, but I missed the first half so it wasn't that interesting. The first half of that show is much more entertaining than the latter. Who cares how some chubby chick looks in her dark denim pants that go straight down from the widest part of her (usually her hip/upper thigh region. saddle bags I think they are called. These seem to be an inevitable problem for women) and a flashy structured jacket? I want to see the before part. I want to see stacytron and clintontron rip a woman apart just for being normal. I want to see what fashion crimes they caught on the secret footage.

I did hear some good news today. [*After writing that last sentence, I realized that finding out good news when I'm alone is also not as satisfying as when I'm able to share said good news with neill. That being said, I'm not sure if this is more preferable than cooking or eating alone. I would have to say that eating alone is still the worst and then after that comes getting good news alone. I guess that means that in the grand scheme of things cooking for one isn't so bad.] A paper I worked on when I was with Dr. Kathy Grant's Stress and Coping Project ready to be submitted for publication. The paper is on the relationship between body image, race/ethnicity, and disordered eating among urban adolescent females. We examine how low body image relates differently to disordered eating symptoms among white, black, and latina urban adolescent females. In other words, we tested to what extent if at all race/ethnicity moderated the relationship between low body image and disordered eating. Also, we were able to explore some racial or ethnic factors that might account or explain the effects we found (such as different cultural standards of beauty). Interesting stuff. Of course, once it is submitted the paper will most likely get sent back to us with loads of suggested revisions. Its crazy how long it can take to get something published in a peer reviewed scientific journal. Anyways, I volunteered to run some additional literature searches before submission in an effort to address some of the paper's problem areas. My perfectionist side was the one who wrote is almost that e-mail. Sometimes I regret her behavior, but she always gets the job done. Besides, I need a project to work on now that neill is getting busier with the band.



There is not much else to say after that.

1 comment:

neillm said...

baby, congratulations on the news about the paper submission!! *kisses and hugs*

sorry it was so lonely at home without me there :-( poo, we worked hard on the van all day and stunk up a storm working in the mad head/humidity.

i missed you all day.